Monday, November 30, 2015

Relationships and Finances

Had an interesting lunch with two of my co-workers earlier. Most of the time, my ears communicated while my mouth ate the delicious soup and sandwich combo. The two ladies conversed all throughout and the topic they delved into was "How do you talk to your partner about money matters?" Like I said, I was all ears, not because I have financial problems with my life partner. In fact, Mr. Keen and I have a great financial relationship. We both work the kind of work we want; we buy the stuff we want to use/buy; we share the stuff we want to share; we don't police each other about money. We are both secure with ourselves. So, the topic was interesting.

Syndie (not her real name) shared to us about an invitation she received from a male friend, who asked her to go on a vacation out of state. Syndie said she didn't have the money for the trip, and the male friend offered to pay for the round trip tickets. Well, that's great, right? Syndie was ecstatic about the offer, but in her mind (she shared to us) she still can't afford the "other" trip expenses aside from the ticket. She didn't know how to tell the guy about that dilemma. She sought our opinion if it is too much to ask her male friend to pay for everything during the trip (hotel, meals, etc.), since, according to Syndie, the guy is rich anyway. 

My other co-worker, Saira (not her real name either) said it's all about being true and being able to communicate it clearly. My brain cells told me Saira wanted Syndie to give it a go; let Syndie ask the rich guy to be the sugar daddy (no, I'm not being a bully nor a name-caller). I unwillingly added for Syndie to do what makes her happy. 

I said unwillingly because I didn't want to support her idea of spending other people's money, but I felt I need to be "nice" and let her hear something she wants to hear. Honestly, my reason was not important, because I already know, no matter what, she will ask the guy anyway. I'm only a co-worker. Her decisions are hers to make. Do you think she will like me if I tell her something she doesn't want to hear? 

Don't get me wrong. The whole thing bothered me. Maybe, I have a different history when money and relationships mesh together. I don't judge people and I don't want to meddle with their own affairs, which is why I said what Syndie wanted to hear to keep myself out of it. Sometimes, friendship-at-work gets a bit tougher when life principles blend in. Oftentimes, though, I find it easier to keep life principles hidden to let the day go by. If you were me, what would you have done?

Tomorrow is a different day. I will be the co-worker who said something nice. 


1 comment:

  1. If he was someone she's been dating that's one thing. But if it's a male friend, and friend only, what I would have said was that I appreciated the offer but I just couldn't swing the trip at all financially. If he offered to pay everything I still would have declined by expressed my deep appreciation of his thoughtful gesture. If she accepts this trip in it's entirety, he may expect something sexual or even a relationship, in return. If she's not willing to do that, then she shouldn't use him for his money to get a trip out of it.


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